The Perverts Have Spoken

Similarly to the Onion, the Babylon Bee’s satire is a little too true to be funny sometimes.

Sexual Revolution Working Out Great, Reports Nation Full Of Perverts

U.S.—The aftermath of the sexual revolution is working out just splendidly, reported a nation filled with perverts, pedophiles, and sexual predators Friday afternoon.

The country currently reaping the consequences of decades of declining sexual morals reported it would do it all over again in a heartbeat, further stating that it was “really proud” of the progress it had made over the past fifty years. When asked about the numerous scandals, controversies, and painful repercussions of the sexual revolution coming to light in recent months, nearly every person in the nation confirmed it was “feeling great” about the sexual revolution and its insidious consequences.

“This is fine—totally fine,” one political commentator on NBC filling in for Matt Lauer said. “I think the sexual revolution is working out just great, and I’m proud to live in the US where we’re uninhibited by outdated ideas about human relationships, like monogamy and faithfulness.”

According to the country with dozens of famous celebrities, television pundits, and politicians currently embroiled in sexual scandals, the sexual revolution was a necessary period that allowed the nation to throw off the outdated, restricted shackles of religion and biblical morality.

“I really pity all those backward parts of the world that haven’t had the privilege of experiencing their own sexual revolution,” one politician said as he checked Twitter to see if his own personal indiscretions had been revealed yet. “One day, they’ll be enlightened too.”

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MSM; fake news at its best

Here’s a funny piece from Babylon Bee (a site I stumbled upon today); it might be a slight exaggeration.

ABC News Reports Trump Nuked Entire World, Later Clarifies He Just Microwaved A Burrito

NEW YORK, NY—A special ABC News report Friday stated that a deranged President Donald Trump nuked the entire world, flattening the entirety of civilization into a gooey nothingness, before later issuing a minor correction stating that he actually just microwaved a burrito.

ABC News reporter Brian Ross broke the erroneous story, describing in great detail how Trump had finally decided he’d had enough and launched over 4,000 nuclear warheads at every single country on the planet. The White House quickly disputed the story, however, pointing out that in reality, the only thing Trump had nuked was a microwavable burrito “for 90 seconds on High.”

“We apologize for the minor error,” an ABC News spokesperson said Monday after the clarification had been issued. “One of our reporters did seem to suggest that Donald Trump instigated a nuclear apocalypse, destroying nearly all of humanity, and we recognize that is a minor factual error when compared with the actual event that occurred, that being the simple microwaving of a frozen snack.”

At publishing time, ABC News had reported that former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn was a Russian spy, before later clarifying that he had simply been seen purchasing a bottle of vodka.

Is Trump a master of persuasion?

Dilbert creator Scott Adams has come out with a new book, Win Bigly; Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don’t Matter.  Already a best-seller on Amazon, its described as “an unflinching look at the strategies Donald Trump used to persuade voters to elect the most unconventional candidate in the history of the presidency, and how anyone can learn his methods for succeeding against long odds.”  Sounds like we’re talking about rhetoric.

The Amazon description continues, “Scott Adams …was one of the earliest public figures to predict Trump’s win… The mainstream media regarded Trump as a novelty and a sideshow. But Adams recognized in Trump a level of persuasion you only see once in a generation.  Trump triggered massive cognitive dissonance and confirmation bias on both the left and the right. We’re hardwired to respond to emotion, not reason.”

Adams recently came out with an interesting article talking about Trump’s tweets in the Wall Street Journal (you can read the whole thing here): The Power of the Presidential Tweet; Trump’s online missives make his supporters laugh and even his opponents think past the sale.

As a trained hypnotist and a lifelong student of persuasion, I’m often impressed by how much “work” President Trump gets out of his tweets. Most of them are harmless retweets about whatever is going right, and they tend to be forgettable. The good ones are something entirely different, and many are gems of persuasion.

Consider this one: “With Jemele Hill at the mike, it is no wonder ESPN ratings have ‘tanked,’ in fact, tanked so badly it is the talk of the industry!”

When Mr. Trump smack-tweets a notable public critic—Ms. Hill has called the president a “white supremacist”—it violates our expectations of his office. That’s what makes it both entertaining and memorable. He often injects into his tweets what memory expert Carmen Simon calls a “little bit of wrongness” to make it hard to look away. If the wrongness alarms you, consider that for years he has adroitly operated within a narrow range of useful wrongness on Twitter without going too far. That suggests technique. In the Twitter environment, strategic wrongness is jet fuel.

Watch for Mr. Trump’s tweets to make you think past the sale, a well-known technique of persuasion. In the Jemele Hill tweet, he makes you wonder if ESPN’s ratings really are the “talk of the industry.” And in order even to consider that question, you must imagine a world in which the primary claim—that Ms. Hill is bad for the network—is true. Even if it isn’t.

***

When Candidate Trump said he would make Mexico pay for the wall, he was making us think past the sale. If you’re thinking about who is paying for the wall, you’ve already imagined the wall existing. And that makes it easier to convince you it should exist.

I also see the president as employing a modern version of humor. When he goes after one of his high-profile critics, his supporters laugh and reach for the popcorn. This is gonna be good! Voters who preferred Hillary Clinton are not laughing, of course. But they aren’t the audience for his tweet humor. And that makes it even funnier for his supporters. His base is in on the joke, whereas his detractors don’t even know humor is happening.

In the 1940s, humor was mostly about corny jokes with punch lines, and loads of slapstick. By the ’70s, humor evolved to be whatever the public found most inappropriate and shocking. Half the fun of watching “Saturday Night Live” in those days was waiting for the naughty parts. By the late ’90s, humor evolved into more of a reality-focused art. When you watch your favorite reality TV show, you’re probably laughing. When you read comics, you laugh hardest at the ones that speak to your personal experience.

Reality and humor have effectively merged. President Trump came to us through the reality TV world, and apparently he has a good grasp of modern humor. His critics will wince at my suggestion that his tweets are intentionally humorous, or even funny. But ask one of his followers about them. Notice the reflexive smile when you bring up the topic. They see it as weaponized humor. Likewise, they recognize Mr. Trump’s sticky nicknames, such as “Low Energy Jeb” and “Rocket Man,” as both intentionally humorous and effective.

Humor is an extraordinary tool of persuasion. Things that are funny are easier to remember, and humor creates a bond with anyone who shares the laugh. In my opinion as a professional humorist, Donald Trump is the funniest president in the history of the republic. Perhaps Abe Lincoln was second.

Again, there are no jokes of the old-fashioned punch-line variety in the president’s tweets. The humor comes from our shared reality, their inappropriateness and—for his supporters—the fun of watching their shared critics take pies in their faces.

Mr. Trump also has a knack for getting into his critics’ heads. Consider this tweet: “Why is the NFL getting massive tax breaks while at the same time disrespecting our Anthem, Flag and Country? Change tax law!” The odds of a tax law change targeted at the NFL are low. But are they zero? Once that risk is in your head, you reflexively treat it as real even if your rational brain says it isn’t.

See a similar technique in the next tweet: “Network news has become so partisan, distorted and fake that licenses must be challenged and, if appropriate, revoked. Not fair to public!” It is deeply unlikely any major network will lose its station licenses, but now the idea is in their heads. Everything I know about persuasion tells me it will nudge the networks toward friendlier coverage out of self-preservation.

If you think Mr. Trump’s tweets are nothing but thin-skinned reflex, you’re missing a great show. Historians and trained persuaders will be analyzing his extraordinary Twitter game for hundreds of years, wondering how much of it was based on training and how much was pure instinct.

Did you catch me making you think past the sale just then?

Turkey Projectiles

It’s a little early for Thanksgiving but…

Turkeys thrown from plane during Arkansas festival prompt FAA probe

The annual turkey drop in which a turkey is flung from a low-flying plane at an Arkansas festival has prompted a federal investigation.

The Federal Aviation Administration announced it is looking into whether the activity complied with regulations. The annual Yellville Turkey Trot has included the bird drop for about 50 years, according to the Southwest Times Record in Arkansas.

In the past, the FAA has said it has not intervened because the turkeys were not considered projectiles.

Delete your Facebook

One of the problems with the Onion is that it’s really too true to be funny.

Entire Facebook Staff Laughs As Man Tightens Privacy Settings

All 1,472 employees of Facebook, Inc. reportedly burst out in uncontrollable laughter Wednesday following Albuquerque resident Jason Herrick’s attempts to protect his personal information from exploitation on the social-networking site. “Look, he’s clicking ‘Friends Only’ for his e-mail address. Like that’s going to make a difference!” howled infrastructure manager Evan Hollingsworth, tears streaming down his face, to several of his doubled-over coworkers. “Oh, sure, by all means, Jason, ‘delete’ that photo. Man, this is so rich.” According to internal sources, the entire staff of Facebook was left gasping for air minutes later when the “hilarious” Herrick believed he had actually blocked third-party ads.

Now don’t we want Zuckerberg to be president?

France’s little dandy

Well, maybe they should have elected Marine Le Pen.  Maybe she wouldn’t have spent so much on makeup or at least she would have had the excuse of being a woman.

French president scolds large African families, spends $31,000 on makeup

 French President Emmanuel Macron met with criticism and ridicule on social media last week after word surfaced that he has spent an excessive amount of money on makeup since taking office in May.

Numerous outlets have covered how Macron has dropped about 26,000 euros – more than 31,000 U.S. dollars – on the services of a personal makeup artist during his first three months in office.

The exorbitant amount of money spent on makeup struck one pro-life advocate in particular, who responded on Twitter with a reminder of his controversial assertion  last month that the average number of children birthed by African women was holding the continent back as a civilization…

Macron was asked during a Q&A at the G20 summit in July whether implementing a policy similar to America’s Marshall Plan for rebuilding Europe after World War II would be beneficial in Africa.

“The problems Africa face today are completely different,” Macron said in a lengthy reply, “and are ‘civilizational.’”

He went on to list several serious challenges, and among them was a statistic of seven to eight children born to African women was “one of the essential challenges of Africa.”

When certain countries are still having seven to eight children per woman, Macron said, “you can decide to spend billions of euros, but you will not stabilize anything.”

Macron has been roundly criticized for wasting money and for his “colonial” and “racist” comments.

Kid Rock for Senate?

Considering how things go these days… this isn’t the least bit surprising.  I hope he does run and wins — just as another big FU to the establishment.  We know the Dems never deserve to win an election again, and the GOP isn’t much better.

The establishment complains about Trump “not acting presidential” enough.  If you’ve ever been to a Kid Rock concert… can you just see how “senatorial” this guy is going to be?  The establishment is going to be freaking out.  It’s gonna be hilarious.

Rockstar Kid Rock set off a political firestorm after teasing his Twitter followers about a potential Senate run in Michigan.

News broke this weekend that Kid Rock is LEADING challenger, Dem Debbie Stabenow in a new poll 30% to 26%!

“On July 12th, 2017 Robert Ritchie, aka Kid Rock, confirmed his intention to run for the United States Senate seat in Michigan. His announcement sent a shock through the media and many dismissed it as a cheap publicity stunt. While Ritchie has yet to file his official documentation to seek the office, he stated his intentions on Twitter and pushed back at his critics, saying “the press is wrong.”

Debbie Stabenow is the incumbent Democratic Michigan senator who is scheduled to defend her seat in 2018. Ritchie intends to run as a Republican who would likely have to defeat a crowded primary field to challenge Stabenow.

On Sunday, POLITICO published a piece outlining why the political class shouldn’t write-off a Kid Rock Senate bid. POLITICO explains Kid Rock would face off against lesser known Republican primary opponents, which could help him clench the nomination.

POLITICO wrote:  “Trump competed with 16 rivals for the Republican nomination, more than a dozen of whom were established, well-regarded, well-financed campaigners; Ritchie would enter a primary field of three little-known newcomers to partisan politics. Trump was targeted by a national network of influential donors and activists who laughed him off at first, only to mount a desperate scramble to thwart his candidacy once they realized their peril; Ritchie would face little such resistance in a state where primaries aren’t preordained by party bosses. Trump started his run with no obvious base or blueprint for victory; Ritchie would launch a campaign on the strength of his favorite-son status that cuts across socioeconomic boundaries and is particularly resonant with the president’s winning coalition of culturally conservative, populist-minded, blue-collar voters.”

“He’s well-liked in Michigan. He’s a hometown darling. He’s got deep connections to Detroit. He’s done a lot throughout the state.”

“Anybody who’s writing him off is making a mistake,”former chairman of the Michigan GOP, Saul Anuzis, told POLITICO.

Part of Kid Rock’s announcement:

Senator Stabenow and I do share a love of music, although probably not the same kind. I concede she is better at playing politics than I am so I’ll keep doing what I do best, which is being a voice for tax paying, hardworking AMERICANS and letting politicians like her know that We the People are sick and tired of their bullshit!

On Kid Rock’s website KidRockforSenate he asks: ARE YOU SCARED?

Yeah, the establishment should be.